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Dagospia e la politica: ci risiamo con le figuracce
Aggiornato: 22 Settembre 2024
Dagospia ci è cascato nuovamente. Ha ancora una volta provato a spingersi oltre i confini del suo regno, esplorando quello della politica, e nuovamente ha collezionato una delle sue ormai classiche figuracce.
A questo punto, in tutta sincerità, cresce il sospetto che farsi prendere per i fondelli sia piacevole per Dago, altrimenti sarebbe difficile spiegare tutta questa pervicacia nel collezionare topiche da urlo. Non è la prima e, probabilmente, non sarà l’ultima, se Dago insisterà ancora a navigare per mari sconosciuti.
Eppure l’avevamo già consigliato qualche mese fa, anche con il tono paternalistico di chi vede lo sgretolarsi di un regno. Ci riproviamo, sperando che il nostro appello, quasi accorato, possa stavolta dare qualche piccolo frutto…
Caro Dago, perché? Perché insisti nel voler scrivere di politica? Perché non ti curi del tuo regno e dei tuoi fedeli sudditi? Te l’abbiamo detto più volte e te lo ribadiamo, sei un fuoriclasse in fatto di mutande, gossip, culi e tette al vento. Lo sai bene, e ne fai un vanto. E allora perché? Cura il tuo regno, cura i fedeli appassionati che non aspettano altro che spulciare le novità gossippare, con i più accaniti voyeur in febbrile attesa delle foto di culi che abbondano sulle tue pagine, con tette e natiche esibite nel silenzio del femminismo oltranzista che anzi, vista la comune contiguità con una certa sinistra dai mille paraocchi, ti strizza l’occhio per le tue tirate contro il Governo.
Certo, con l’estate che si avvia alla fine, si fa dura per te. Ciò però non giustifica l’ostinazione con cui collezioni topiche clamorose. L’ultima in ordine di tempo, ancora una volta sulla politica europea. Se la scorsa volta ti eri lanciato in una previsione poi rivelatasi catastrofica su come avrebbe votato la delegazione di Fratelli d’Italia in occasione dell’elezione di Ursula Von der Leyen alla presidenza della Commissione europea, stavolta ha provato a vaticinare sulla nomina del commissario italiano. Risultato? Vediamolo insieme…
Partiamo da qualche settimana fa, quando in piena estate e in orgasmo da chiappe e tette hai iniziato a sparlare. In rapida sequenza, hai titolato “La coerenza rende irrilevanti – Giorgia Meloni pubblica un video in cui spiega con poca convinzione il no di Fratelli d’Italia a Ursula Von der Leyen… Ciao core…” (18 luglio), il giorno dopo hai scritto invece che il voto contrario alla Presidente della Commissione europea si sarebbe rivelato come “un calcolo che isola l’Italia: il Governo Meloni è il primo esecutivo italiano della storia moderna a essere all’opposizione in UE” (19 luglio), il giorno successivo il titolone era “L’Italia non conta una mazza: solo Meloni non l’ha capito” (20 luglio), per poi chiudere in bellezza il poker di previsioni “Con il no a Ursula Von der Leyen la Meloni si è giocata la benevolenza della nuova Commissione UE” (21 luglio). Gioco, partita, incontro. Pietra tombale sulle aspirazioni italiane di avere un ruolo di peso nelle istituzioni europee. Non un solo articolo, ma una serie ben motivata di pezzi che avrebbero dovuto certificare il tuo ingresso in pompa magna nell’agone della politica scritta e parlata…
Per non lasciare spazio a dubbi, il 15 agosto hai poi scritto “Ferragosto di fuoco per la Ducetta… una volta che avrà in mano un pugno di polvere, per ripicca probabilmente lascerà a Roma quel democristianone di Fitto” … in questo caso i puntini di sospensione sono come minimo dovuti…
Saltiamo a piè pari qualche settimana e qualche altra perla, non sarebbe giusto né nei confronti di Dago né nei confronti dei poveri lettori, e arriviamo a qualche giorno fa. Proponiamo stavolta solo un tris di titoloni. Il 10 settembre troviamo “I socialisti avvertono Ursula: o la Meloni o noi – L’ipotesi di affidare una Vicepresidenza esecutiva a Fitto è inaccettabile per il gruppo dei socialisti” . Il giorno successivo hai titolato “Buio Fitto per Ursula – Dopo che socialisti, verdi e liberali sono saliti sulle barricate per l’ipotesi di una vicepresidenza esecutiva al ministro meloniano, Von der Leyen ha dovuto cambiare strategia… ovvero tagliare fuori l’italiano” . Infine, il 12 settembre, nell’imminenza della nomina dei Commissari europei, Dago ha proposto “Un pastrocchio Fitto Fitto – I socialisti ribadiscono un netto “no” a un ruolo pesante per il meloniano Fitto nella Commissione UE: “non è comprensibile avere un vicepresidente esecutivo di ECR”.
Il finale lo conosciamo bene: Raffaele Fitto nominato Vicepresidente esecutivo con deleghe alla Coesione e alle Riforme. Di più: la lettera d’incarico a Fitto gli riconosce la supervisione sulle deleghe di altri commissari: agricoltura, pesca, trasporti, turismo. E un ruolo di condivisione sulla gestione del PNRR. Cinque anni fa non avevamo neppure un Vicepresidente, ora ne abbiamo uno esecutivo con deleghe ampie. L’Italia è al centro delle istituzioni e della politica europee, il suo ruolo è fondamentale nel processo di integrazione comune, il Governo Meloni è garanzia di stabilità più di qualunque altro in Europa. Proprio come aveva predetto Dago… Proprio come avevano auspicato Dago e le varie sinistre, unite solo dal sentirsi prima sinistre (nel senso più ampio e variegato del termine) e poi, forse, italiane.
Torniamo a noi. Dago, basta così o vuoi continuare? Lascia stare, per favore. Fai quello che sai fare, come ognuno dovrebbe. Te lo immagini Sinner, un mito vero, che preso dalla foga di essere il numero uno lancia la sfida sul ring al campione dei pesi massimi? Trattasi di Oleksandr Usyk, 191 cm per una quintalata di peso. Qualche volta si è presentato sul ring con una cresta da cosacco, giusto per non incutere più timore di quanto non facesse già il suo esile fisico. Nemmeno salendo sul ring con la racchetta Sinner potrebbe avere scampo. Mazzate a rotta di collo. Le stesse che tu, metaforicamente, hai preso con le tue previsioni sulla politica.
Bene l’avventura in terreni sconosciuti, ma un minimo di preparazione è necessario. Non si scala una montagna con le infradito, non si combatte sul ring essendo tennisti. E non si scrive di politica essendo gossippari. Re dei gossippari. Cura il tuo regno, Dago. Fallo per i tuoi fedeli sudditi. E fallo anche per noi.
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Il “santone” Dago ha preso una toppa mostruosa e continuando su questo sentiero altre ne prenderà.
Non c’è da stupirsi: ormai i tuttologi sono onniscienti, devono discutere di qualunque argomento, anche di ciò di cui …. NON SANNO UN C—ZO. Volete forse che la sinistra perda l’occasione per non cercare di ‘mazzare’ il Governo. Certi personaggi dovrebbero essere condannati all’esilio sull’esempio di Socrate.
P.S.: non penso che l’uomo si riferisse alla barba, benché molto somigliante…
Scusa Emiliano, con tutto il rispetto, che ti aspettavi da una “capra” (senza offesa per le capre ovviamente). Chiedilo all’uomo che urlava: “capra, capra, capra!”, lui saprà senz’altro illuminarti!